How People Change

I requested several books for Christmas, and I spent part of my lazy New Year's Day exploring How People Change, by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. Though I’ve perused only three chapters, I’d like to quote at length from the third one. Reading this on New Years' Day, pinned between the cultural phenomenon of resolution-making and the solicitous advice of well-meaning friends, I breathe a sigh of relief. This is what I believe, come what may; this is what I believe, in spite of myself. I do not want to live with merely the appearance of wisdom or to structure sin out of my life. I want to walk in holiness and, for this purpose, Scripture is my plumb-line and light.

“We all live on the continuum between slavery and freedom. The Bible warns about the deceitfulness of sin and its bondage. It is full of promises of the freedom we have in Christ. But our culture has its own warnings and promises of freedom, false solutions promised in various theories of change. These alternative theories seem appealing. They promise us that we can avoid chaos, live in freedom, and keep our own agenda and pride in tact.

Christians have always faced these problems. We have always had to sift through false promises and theories of change. Even in the first century, Paul had these words for fellow believers:

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits (or elementary principles) of the world, and not according to Christ” (Col 2:6-8).

Lane and Tripp go on to outline some of the deceptive philosophies that our culture proffers:

Changing the circumstance
Changing my behavior
Changing my thought process
Changing my self-concept
Trusting Jesus more

None of these solutions is entirely bad, but each is sadly incomplete. If I identify a circumstance, a behavior, or a thought as my problem and fight accordingly, I will quickly be defeated (think New Year’s resolutions). Change must happen by the Spirit in the heart of the believer, and it will flow out into behaviors and thoughts. As I look at the changes that are needed in my life right now, I’m reminded not to attack the behavior but to expose my heart before the surgeon.

The last two philosophies outlined must be addressed separately, starting with self-esteem theory. I've always been astounded by the fact that I could forget everything that learned in elementary school science--things like the number of planets in our solar system or the function of the lymph nodes--but could recount in detail the intricacies of Maslow's theory of self-actualization. Perhaps I shouldn't say "intricacies"--this was elementary school! But that theory took hold of me as a child; it purported to be vitally important, and it explained some critical things about myself, or so I thought. Self-esteem theory in one of its many instantiations has a monopoly on our (pop) psychology market. We have lapped up the poison, believing that we are essentially good and must learn only to love ourselves as such. We don’t want to hear that we feel guilty because we are guilty.

The last philosophy seems incongruous and even irreverent. How can it be inadequate to "just trust Jesus”? The strategy itself is right--we should trust Jesus, but we have to be clear about who this Jesus is and what we are trusting him to do. Lane and Tripp write, “In some approaches to change, Jesus is the therapist who meets all my needs…If he is my therapist, then he meets my needs as I define them. If he is my Redeemer, he defines my true needs and addresses them in ways far more glorious than I could have anticipated.”

Herein lies the common core to each of these false solutions. If we change only our behavior or our circumstances, we have not changed our hearts. We have not displaced the idol of self; in fact, we have likely propped it up with our short-term successes. We cannot live in freedom if our self-love-driven-agendas remain in tact. Our self must acquire new loves if we are to truly change, because man will ultimately follow after what he loves. People only change from the heart outward.

In Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices moaning deep within me, cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, "I will crowd action upon action
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of Manhood cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, "I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, "I will submit;
I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmuring, why will ye not cease?"
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain.
For in Acceptance lieth peace."

~Amy Carmichael

HT: Anas Corner

The Amazing Grace of Self-Knowledge

Please, please read this post from Paul Tripp. I hope to have time to comment later on his reflections from Psalm 51.

In the meantime, here's a taste:

So, since sin is by its very nature deceitful, we need help in order to see ourselves with accuracy. Another way to say this is that personal spiritual insight is the result of community. We don't get it all by ourselves. We need ministry of two communities in order to see ourselves with the kind of surgical clarity with which David speaks in this Psalm. First, we need community with God. He's the ultimate opener of blind eyes. Through the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit we begin to see ourselves with accuracy and become willing to own up to what we see. But the Spirit uses instruments and this is where the second community comes in. God employs people in the task of giving sight to other people. For David, that was the prophet Nathan. With the skill of a seasoned pastor, he got inside of David's defenses and told him a story designed to engage his heart and stimulate his conscience. Through the words of this wise man and through the lens of this simple story, David's heart broke as he saw who he was and what he'd done.

Seasons

We spend a lot of time and energy wondering how we can control the seasons of our lives. Whether those seasons are gauged by age, marital status, financial or vocational status, or some other marker--we recognize them as they ebb and flow around us.

I am encouraged by this reminder from the new book by the GirlTalkers, Shopping for Time:

Scripture provides ample evidence that God sets the boundaries for each season. God determines when one closes and a new one begins. He is in complete charge and sovereignly rules over each season of our lives. And his purpose for our lives in each season cannot be frustrated.

The season is changing around me right now; In fact, I can hardly keep pace with the falling leaves. Will you bear with me and pray for me as I strive to make the necessary preparations? Will you pray that I will quietly know the path of preparedness that is pleasing to God and will reject the one that merely imparts security to man?

Reject Yourself

God is calling us to look away from the little world we have made to the One who made us. God is calling us to stop putting our hope in what we can do and start putting our hope in the divine Doer. Regard him with desire and glad expectation, and you will discover that he is enough. Reject everything incompatible with him--the idolatrous altars of your heart. If you will suffer the loss of all things to gain Christ, he will make you too happy to care. That is faith, and God is calling you to live by that faith. Stop trusting in your own altars of incense. Let Christ alone be your sweet incense before a holy God. Reject yourself. Embrace Christ as your offering acceptable to God, and he will accept you without your own works-righteousness. No matter what you lose in order to gain Christ, don't worry about it. He's worth everything.

Isaiah: God Saves Sinners by Ray Ortlund

Service and Equipment

We have prayed this prayer together before, Kellye, and it is again my prayer for you tonight.

"Service and Equipment," from Valley of Vision

Thou, God of my end, Thou hast given me a fixed disposition to go forth and spend my life for thee; if it be thy will let me proceed in it; if not, then revoke my intentions. All I want in life is such circumstances as may best enable me to serve thee in the world; to this end I leave all my concerns in thy hand, but let me not be discouraged, for this hinders my spiritual fervency.

Enable me to undertake some task for thee, for this refreshes and animates my soul, so that I could endure all hardships and labors and willingly suffer for thy name. But, O what a death is it to strive and labor, to be always in a hurry and yet do nothing! Alas, time flies and I am but of little use. O that I could be a flame of fire in thy service, always burning out in one continual blaze.

Fit me for singular usefulness in this world. Fit me to exult in distresses of every kind if they but promote the advancement of thy kingdom. Fit me to quit all hopes of the world’s friendship, and give me a deeper sense of my sinfulness. Fit me to accept as just desert from thee any trial that may befall me. Fit me to be totally resigned to the denial of pleasures I desire and to be content to spend my time with thee. Fit me to pray with a sense of the joy of divine communion, to find all times happy seasons to my soul, to see my own nothingness and wonder that I am allowed to serve thee. Fit me to enter the blessed world where no unclean thing is and to know thee with me always.

"I have tried in my way to be free..."

For those of you who just recently became acquainted with me, you will probably be surprised to know that I enjoy Leonard Cohen's music. His music is certainly not Christian, and it's often quite irreverent. What I enjoy about his music is that it is often self-consciously focused on redemption (or the lack thereof). All great stories are written and songs are sung about this theme. It is, after all, the great quest of human existence.

I woke up with this line from Like a Bird on a Wire in my head: I have tried in my way to be free. I guess that my thoughts about freedom and independence (it is July 4, after all) led somehow to this.

Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If I, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.
Like a baby, stillborn,
like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
and by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch,
he said to me, "You must not ask for so much."
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,
she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Oh like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.

I perceive two driving themes in this song. 1) The singer feels compelled to seek freedom and 2) he knows that he has not attained it. Cohen’s songs are rife with futility—with the quest for the unattainable. This song, in fact, is almost apologetic; he feels his lack of freedom and the burden of the enslaved world so keenly that he must assert the truth that he has tried. As I listen, I wonder who he really wrote the song for. To whom do you apologize for your slavery? Was he looking in the mirror or staring into the sky? Oh, friend—“It is by him everyone who believes is freed from everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses” (Acts 13:39).

In some ways, Americans are the most enslaved people on earth. Take a look around at the interplay between our consumerism and our self-help industry. We will squander almost all of our time and money getting enslaved (to debt, to drugs, etc) and then spend the rest of it trying to get free. We believe one liar after another, and we "save all our ribbons" to placate him. Where is our Isaiah, to ask us pointedly, “Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?” No, the question is wrong. Isaiah is where he has always been. Where are those with ears to hear?

As an American, I am blessed to enjoy a freedom that most people around the world can only dream about. They write songs and poems and books and even theologies about things that I overlook every day. Their prayers, passion, and service condemn me when I don’t vote or when I turn an apathetic eye toward politics in a thousand subtle ways. And yet we, as Americans, hold political freedom in one hand and cultural slavery in another.

By the grace of God, though, I am what I am; and his grace to me was not without effect! Therefore, as a Christian, I know a few things about freedom. A few passages come to mind but, if I am to join my friends to watch the fireworks, I can only reflect on one of them tonight.

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?” Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:31-36).

As Americans, surely we cry out that we “have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?” But beneath our cries lies a recognition that, though we have tried in our way to be free, we are as free as a worm on a hook. All our glory is temporary; we will not remain in the house forever. I’m not making a political statement here about the end of empire or anything like it. I do believe that God will judge nations in time and that he will judge people in eternity, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. As I listen to Cohen's apology for the impotence of his efforts, I can only say that if the Son, the heir, sets us free, then we will be free.

So, Leonard and Karl and Gustavo and all of the thousands of others who speak about freedom in this life—yes, it is truly a gift and it is worth fighting for. But "it is by him everyone who believes is freed from everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses” or by the laws of nations.

The Dawning

"The Dawning" by George Herbert

Awake, sad heart, whom sorrow ever drowns;
Take up thine eyes, which feed on earth;
Unfold thy forehead, gathered into frowns;
Thy Saviour comes, and with Him mirth:

Awake, awake, and with a thankful heart His comforts take.
But thou dost still lament, and pine, and cry,
And feel His death, but not His victory.

Arise, sad heart; if thou dost not withstand,
Christ's resurrection thine may be;
Do not by hanging down break from the hand
Which, as it riseth, raiseth thee:

Arise, arise; and with His burial linen drie thine eyes.
Christ left His grave-clothes, that we might, when grief
Draws tears or blood, not want a handkerchief.

Reluctantly Finite

Some great insights here about using and refusing to use our gifts:

“Our resentment [toward God] often masquerades as modesty. What appears to be humility is often actually risk-aversion rooted in shame. I won’t take the risk of using my gifts because I am ashamed of the ‘real’ me—with all of my God-given limits—and there is a strong likelihood that those limits will be revealed if I go public. But to be ashamed of the real me is to be angry at God for the way he made me.”

. . .

"It has taken me a long time to understand that behind my dread-saturated ‘modesty’ was something deeper than a tenth-grade trauma. It was a form of self-serving protectionism, which was itself an expression of an ungrateful heart. Speaking was not, for me, the occasion to love people to the best of my God-given ability; nor was it the occasion to offer up gratefully to my Creator and Redeemer the fullest expression of the talents he had given to me. Speaking, rather, was simply (or largely) about me—about me either looking good or avoiding embarrassment. If I was reasonably sure I could get by without looking like an idiot, then I would take the gig. Otherwise I often would not. I had to be the best, and if I could not be the best—or at least look like the best—then I would keep my gifts to myself."

A Journey Worth Taking: Finding Your Purpose in This World by Charles Drew

The Soul of Suffering

"In retrospect I can see that a large part of my anguish was rooted in the fact that there really was nothing I could do to control what was happening to me. I was absolutely helpless, and it is this, perhaps that is the soul of suffering, this terrifying impotence. It is a little taste of the final and most terrifying impotence of all, which is death.

We Christians do not like to think about being absolutely helpless in the hands of our God. With all of our faith, and with all of His grace, we still prefer to maintain some semblance of control over our lives. When difficulties arise, we like to think that there are certain steps we can take, or attitudes we can adopt, to alleviate our anguish and be happy. Sometimes there are. But anyone who has truly suffered will know that when it comes to the real thing, there is no help for it, no human help whatsoever. Simply put, when we are in a deep dark hole we cannot think our way out; neither can we hope, sing, pray or even lover our way out. In fact there is absolutely nothing either we or anyone else can do to better our situation. We can have faith, yes; but in itself faith will not change anything. Neither faith, nor any other good thing that a person might have or do, can actually lift the cloud, move the mountain, or bring about an end to the problem. Only the Lord Himself can do that and when He does, as Exodus 6:6 puts it, 'Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke.' How will we know? Simply because nothing and no one else could possibly have done it. In this kind of crucible, therefore, we come to a new understanding of what it means to be saved, what it means to be snatched away from the brink of destruction. Here we get down to the bedrock of the gospel."

Mike Mason, The Gospel According to Job: An Honest Look at
Pain and Doubt From the Life of One Who Lost Everything

Grace in Trials

I was truly blessed by this prayer that we prayed at church last Sunday, so I asked one of our pastors for a copy of it. The prayer was adapted from the Valley of Vision prayer, “Grace in Trials.” I would encourage you to read all the way through, search your heart, and offer this prayer up to the Lord.

Father of mercies, I am sinful even in my closest walk with you. Yet your grace has given me faith in the cross by which you have reconciled me to yourself, drawing me with your great love, counting me as innocent in Christ though I’m guilty in myself. By thy grace, you have saved me. And now, by your grace, please sanctify and sustain me. Giver of all graces, I look to you for strength to persevere, for it is hard to practice what I believe. Strengthen me against temptations. My heart is an unexhausted fountain of sin, a river of corruption since childhood days. Without your grace to sustain me, I fall. Keep me aware of my weakness; keep me aware of my dependence upon your strength. Let every trial teach me more of your peace, more of your love. The Holy Spirit is given to increase your graces, and I cannot grow unless he works continually in me. Let me walk humbly in dependence upon your grace.
Amen.

"The discovery of Christ is never genuine if it is nothing but a flight from ourselves. On the contrary, it cannot be an escape. It must be a fulfillment. I cannot discover God in myself and myself in Him unless I have the courage to face myself exactly as I am, with all my limitations, and to accept others as they are, with all their limitations. The religious answer is not religious if it is not fully real. Evasion is the answer of superstition."

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

And Are We Yet Alive?

A beautiful hymn that celebrates salvation and sanctification in community. Very appropriate for a Sunday:

And are we yet alive, and see each other's face?
Glory and thanks to Jesus give for his almighty grace!

Preserved by power divine to full salvation here,
again in Jesus' praise we join, and in his sight appear.

What troubles have we seen, what mighty conflicts past,
fightings without, and fears within, since we assembled last!

Yet out of all the Lord hath brought us by his love;
and still he doth his help afford, and hides our life above.

Then let us make our boast of his redeeming power,
which saves us to the uttermost, till we can sin no more.

Let us take up the cross till we the crown obtain,
and gladly reckon all things loss so we may Jesus gain.

-Hymn by Charles Wesley

HT: MO

Love Not the World

Thomas Chalmers explains how we can love not the world:

"Nothing can exceed the magnitude of the required change in a man's character—when bidden, as he is in the New Testament, to love not the world; no, nor any of the things that are in the world—for this so comprehends all that is dear to him in existence as to be equivalent to a command of self-annihilation. But the same revelation which dictates so mighty an obedience places within our reach as mighty an instrument of obedience. It brings for admittance, to the very door of our heart, an affection which, once seated upon its throne, will either subordinate every previous inmate, or bid it away.

Beside the world it places before the eye of the mind Him who made the world, and with this peculiarity, which is all its own—that in the gospel do we so behold God as that we may love God. It is there, and there only, where God stands revealed as an object of confidence to sinners—and where our desire after Him is not chilled into apathy by that barrier of human guilt which intercepts every approach that is not made to Him through the appointed Mediator. It is the bringing in of this better hope, whereby we draw nigh unto God-to live without hope is to live without God, and if the heart be without God the world will then have all the ascendency. It is God apprehended by the believer as God in Christ who alone can dispost it from this ascendency.

It is when He stands dismantled of the terrors which belong to Him as an offended lawgiver, and when we are enabled by faith, which is His own gift, to see His glory in the face of Jesus Christ, and to hear His beseeching voice, as it protests good-will to men, and entreats the return of all who will to a full pardon, and a gracious acceptance—it is then that a love paramount to the love of the world, and at length expulsive of it, first arises in the regenerating bosom.

It is when released from the spirit of bondage, with which love can not dwell, and when admitted into the number of God's children, through the faith that is in Christ Jesus, the spirit of adoption is poured upon upon us—it is then that the heart, brought under the mastery of one great and predominant affection, is delivered from the tyranny of its former desires, and in the only way in which deliverance is possible."

From a (10 page, single-spaced sermon!) entitled The Expulsive Power of a New Affection

In the Valley

In the Valley by Bob Kauflin (as recorded on Valley of Vision)

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

© 2006 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Spurgeon on Affliction

"It would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by his hand, that my trials were never measured out by him, nor sent to me by his arrangement of their weight and quantity."

Darrel W. Amundsen, "The Anguish and Agonies of Charles Spurgeon," Christian History, Issue 29, Vol. X, No. 1, p. 25.

HT: EA

Learning Happiness from a Puritan

"O LORD,

Help me never to expect any happiness from the world but only in thee. Let me not think that I shall be more happy by living to myself, for I can only be happy if employed for thee, and if I desire to live in this world only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.

Teach me that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee, I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself. Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angles who willingly come down to this lower world to perform thy will, though their desires are heavenly and not set in the least upon earthly things; then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.

Help me not to think of living to thee in my own strength, but always to look to and rely on thee for assistance. Teach me that there is no greater truth than this, that I can do nothing of myself.

Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man live, yet it is an end that every godly soul presses after; Let it be then my concern to devote myself and all to thee. Make me more fruitful and more spiritual, for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.

How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly with little done to good purpose! I need thy help; O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee for all sanctification, and for ever accomplishment of thy purposes for me, for the world, and for thy kingdom."

Arthur Bennett, The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Where Jesus is Present, There is Joy

“Even before heaven, joy abounds along the hard road that leads through death to resurrection. Nothing can compare with the joy of walking in the light with Jesus as opposed to walking in the darkness without him. Jesus said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’ (John 8:12). Following Jesus does indeed lead through suffering and death. But the path is luminous with life and truth. Jesus promised, ‘I am with you always, to the end of the age’ (Matt. 28:20). And where Jesus is present there is joy—joy in sorrow for now, but joy nevertheless. ‘These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full’ (John 15:11)."

-From John Piper's What Jesus Demands from the World