On Coveting

I trust that it is okay to covet, if we are coveting only the prayers of others.

My best friend and I, along with half of our colleagues at Crossway, are going to be attending the International Christian Retail Show in Atlanta for the better part of next week.

I fly out tomorrow and return on Thursday. This will be the first time that I have flown since the onset of the illness, and these days are also likely to be the most physically demanding ones that I've had since March. I have to confess that I feel a great deal of apprehension--about the travel and about fulfilling all the responsibilities that are mine as soon as I step off the plane. Most (if not all) of the apprehension and my response to it have been sinful. I have been coveting ease, comfort, rest, and safety and forgetting that the Lord ordained the timing of my illness, the need for this trip, and every single appointment and interview that clamors for my attention over the next few days. Not one of these things escaped his attention.

It's time to take hold of my wayward heart and mind; I have prayed that the Lord would enable me to will and to do so before I board the plane. I feel the will changing even now; Lord, continue this good work that you have begun.

I confess that my mind has been set on the flesh--on my flesh, with all of the new demands, expectations, and preferences so readily dictated by my illness. My legs hurt worse yesterday than they have in two weeks or more, so I have to force my mind to embrace anything but the thoughts of the pain and the fear of where it might lead. Romans tells me that dwelling upon these things is death to me, and I know well the truth of this verse. There has been something like death in my heart for several weeks now.

What is the remedy? As always, the remedy is the gospel--the remedy is to set my mind on the Christ-exalting Spirit of God, which yields life and peace. "If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you." Life to my mortal body. Spirit, I need the life that you give.

I was reading in I Peter that we purity our souls "by our obedience to the truth." Recognizing the hardness of my heart, I have reason to believe that I have not been obeying the truth. In fact, I have positive evidence of that in my conscience. You see, the coveting issue has been systemic for me lately. Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 both show me that this coveting is actually idolatry. It's amazing how our sin is always worse than we think it is. This is when I must remember that the Gospel is so much grander than I can even imagine.

Back to the verse in I Peter: "You have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God." I am comforted by this description of the Word as "living" and "abiding." The living word is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of my heart; it is the power of God to those of us who are being saved. The adjective abiding reassures me that the word will outlast my waywardness; it will outlast my faithfulness; it will outlast my life and all my legacy. My hope is in the living Word that was made flesh and dwelt among us--in the abiding word of his righteousness faithfulness. In Him was life, and that life was the light of men--what a glorious Gospel!

It is highly unlikely that I will be able to blog from the conference, since my evenings are going to be spent catching up on the emails that I miss during days spent on the convention center floor. As I said, I covet your prayers for me and for our team during this time, that "many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many" (I Cor. 1:11).